


Simply Being Loved

by Zarla



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Bad Sex, Banter, Fluff, M/M, Old Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-24
Updated: 2009-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-06 04:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarla/pseuds/Zarla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Snake's inevitable death loomed closer, he began to draw away from them somewhat. That was understandable. But that didn't mean Otacon couldn't at least <i>try</i> once in a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simply Being Loved

"How is she?"

Otacon shut the door behind him carefully. Their latest safe house was a rather small place and even if she was a few rooms away, he didn't want to risk waking her. It was already late enough as it was.

"She's asleep. It sure took a while though." He adjusted his glasses a little as he walked over to the bed Snake was lying on. "You know how she gets with new places."

"Right," Snake said, glancing at him before looking back to the television at the foot of their bed. It was barely audible... Otacon doubted that he was actually watching it. Probably just watching the images and narrating it himself, or just looking for something to keep him awake until Otacon came back...

It _was_ a new hiding place, after all, and Snake was always on edge for the first few days. He preferred to know where Otacon was at any given point and, after a disastrous night spent apart some years back, he'd been insistent that Otacon stay close whenever possible. At least close enough for sound to carry, should something happen, and for action to be quickly taken.

And over time, it had led to the two of them mostly sharing sleeping areas... whether it was the same bed, a couch and a cot, a computer chair and an air mattress, arguments over who got the floor, or any number of arrangements, they always kept somewhat close to each other.

As Snake's health began to fail, coughing spasms waking him in the night, Otacon found he sympathized with Snake's concern to an uncomfortable degree.

It was better if they stayed close to each other, after all.

Otacon sighed and lay down beside Snake on the small bed, stretching a little. "Had to go through a bunch of my best stories before she calmed down enough to sleep... you'd think she'd be tired of moving by now, but..."

"Mmm." Snake didn't look over to him, his general disinterest hiding an invested concern in Sunny's well-being, Otacon was sure. Even though he'd mostly relegated Sunny to being Otacon's responsibility...

Silence settled comfortably between them, and Otacon looked over and watched him for a while. Snake's eyes were nearly closed, staring at the flickering screen at his feet, and he looked exhausted even while essentially doing nothing. Traveling was taking a greater toll on him with each new place and mission they went on... even now, Otacon could see tension through his body, thin creases near his eyes and mouth that seemed to deepen with each passing day.

He reached over and took Snake's hand gently, entwining their fingers together. A test, an invitation of sorts. As Snake's inevitable death loomed ever closer, his body betraying the faulty coding of his genetic makeup, he'd begun to draw away from them somewhat. Not that he could really blame him for it... Otacon was sure Snake hadn't expected _this_ to be how and when his life ended. As far as he could tell, Snake wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it and so just... kept to himself. Otacon didn't mind the distance... he could understand why Snake wanted it; maybe just for the want of space or some time alone, or maybe trying to prevent him and Sunny from being hurt by his passing, it was hard to say. Otacon could understand that; their partnership would not have lasted as long as it had if they didn't respect each other's need for space, after all.

But that didn't mean Otacon couldn't try, or at least ask in some way every now and then if Snake wanted to join him for a few moments, to let someone care about him more openly again.

Snake looked over at him, regarding him thoughtfully for a few seconds, and Otacon squeezed his hand with a gentle, tired smile.

"You up for it?" Years of familiarity between them had put aside the need for subtlety. Snake stared at him a few more moments more, giving the question far more thought than he would have only a few years prior, and then he slowly smiled.

"Maybe."

Interactions between them had worn threadbare and casual with use, and even though the two of them were exhausted, well beyond their physical peak, it was hard to resist not acting as if that weren't the case. Otacon sat up a bit, tried not to notice how it was more difficult than he remembered it being, and he smiled back at Snake, teasing.

"Maybe? Is that all you can say?"

Snake slowly sat up, the effort at doing so showing in the minute tightening around his eyes, if nothing else, and he moved a bit closer to Otacon to face him. Playful banter was something that the two of them knew well, even if it'd been harder to accomplish than usual with how difficult things had gotten lately.

"Depends on how you keep me interested," Snake said, his voice rough.

"You don't think I can?"

Snake shrugged. "Not a lot does these days."

A tinge of sadness that flickered between them both, but Otacon forced himself not to think about it. Snake wanted to interact closely with someone, and he was going to appreciate it while he had the chance. "I think you underestimate me."

He pulled Snake closer by the front of his sweater, and Snake stared at him, smiling faintly beneath his mustache with tired eyes. "Think you're _over_estimating me... I'm not as young as I used to be."

Keeping it light made the reality a little easier to bear, or at least he told himself that. Otacon raised his free hand and touched the side of Snake's face, along the thick lines near his mouth and his wrinkled skin, and he tried to smile. "I've noticed."

Snake grumbled a little, but he didn't stay silent or turn away... that was a good sign. It meant he was in the mood for gentle teasing, which also meant he was in the mood for other people... or at least, for Otacon.

It seemed that was the only person he had room for anymore, and not even all the time.

"Might still be able to surprise you, though..." Snake pulled Otacon closer with one hand, the other holding the back of his neck, and he kissed him softly. Otacon slid his hand back into Snake's silver hair, smirking at him.

"Oh?"

A bit of a determined growl, a little, and he knew that sound well enough. Willingly taking the bait. Time had worn away the intensity, the sharp harsh edges that made things almost painful at first, the emotions that ran him ragged, the sensations that made the entire world dull in comparison. The damage that their lives had worn on them -- the toll their professions, their very bodies had taken on them -- was painfully clear in how subdued it had all become over the years. Snake, once possessed with a fierce and sudden need when (properly) prompted, once overpowering and intoxicating, now simply seemed content with soft touches, with just being close to him. Perhaps that was all Snake had left in him now, the fire that inspired his passion and life now flickering into nothingness, the last dying embers in his fingertips tracing the lines beneath Otacon's glasses, but he really didn't want to be thinking about something like that _now_.

His kisses were light, waiting for a reaction each time, a soft sigh or halfhearted attempt to return them. His mustache itched against his skin, and Otacon reached his free hand up to hold Snake closer, to embrace him properly. To hold onto him, for however long he'd let this contact last.

Otacon closed his eyes as Snake kissed his way down his jaw, near his neck. His heartbeat quickened a little, excitement slow to rise, and he could feel Snake's heart beneath his hands and knew it was much the same way. Beating faster, just a little.

Otacon sighed, whispered his name to encourage him to continue, and he began to rub Snake's back. Working away the tension in his muscles with what had became a practiced touch, more from necessity than anything else. After all, _some_one had to do something about the soreness that plagued Snake most days, and preferably that someone wouldn't take no for an answer when Snake was being stubborn.

Snake's body rose to his touch, now his turn to make thankful sounds, and he rested his head against Otacon's shoulder, breathing deeply. Otacon was content to hold him, to slowly massage him as best he could while Snake was in his arms. He pressed his fingers firmly in sweeping motions along the lines of his back, the muscles beneath mottled and soft skin. He ran his knuckles firmly along his side and heard Snake groan a bit in response, arching into the pressure. He knew he liked this.

He'd ease pain in whatever way he could as long as he could, and in his heart he knew it wouldn't be for much longer.

He closed his eyes and let his hands work automatically, drifting off into indistinct daydreams about the program he'd been trying to get to run on the Mk. I, that email he had to write later tonight, the server he'd been trying to crack into and Snake didn't move, only letting out long sighs every now and then. It took longer than Otacon would have thought to realize that Snake had fallen asleep.

He couldn't say he was entirely surprised... Snake was old, older than he should have been, and his body betrayed him in countless other ways. He couldn't say he was that disappointed... if anything, it meant that Snake felt comfortable and safe enough in his arms to let himself simply fall asleep like that, and that was a nice thought, if nothing else. He knew Snake trusted him with his life, had known that for some time... but that didn't mean he didn't appreciate having that confirmed every now and then.

Still...

Otacon sighed and lay down slowly, moving Snake along with him and trying not to wake him, and he settled Snake's head against his shoulder. He couldn't complain... well, not in good conscience. After all, it could have been worse...

He stroked Snake's hair lightly, staring at the ceiling and listening to his breathing, and soon drifted off to sleep himself.


End file.
